I’m Terrified to Watch The Force Awakens

star-wars-force-awakens-official-posterI love Star Wars. I really really really love Star Wars. And I love a lot of Star Wars. I may have some kneejerk bad reactions to some aspects of it but I’m really easy to please when it comes to reading a new book or experiencing something new. If it’s Star Wars, if it feels like Star Wars, and if I enjoy it, I’m happy. I also unabashedly love the Prequels. If you want to see me go from 0 to 100, just suggest in my presence that they should be skipped when showing someone the movies for the first time. Those movies, just like the Original Trilogy, were a huge part of my childhood and I can’t imagine loving Star Wars without them.

And that’s where the fear comes in. I am terrified to watch The Force Awakens because of the very slim chance that I won’t love it.

Yoda kinda nailed it with his whole “truly wonderful the mind of a child” comment in Attack of the Clones. Kids don’t overanalyze films like Star Wars and they probably don’t spend months and months before the release hearing little tidbits and piecing together parts in their minds. I was 9, 12, and 15 years old respectively when the Prequel films came out and I instantly fell in love with each of them. Part of that had to do with being so young and having zero expectations about what I’d see in each movie. (Well, I knew that Anakin was going to fall to the Dark Side and I was pretty sure that everyone was going to die in Revenge of the Sith. Went two-for-two on those revolutionary predictions.) As so many others before me have noted, none of us know what to expect from these films. For the first time since 1977, we’re all going in blind for a brand new Star Wars story that could take us anywhere.

But what if I don’t like it? What if I have to change my standard “I love all of the Star Wars movies!” to “I love most of the Star Wars movies!”? What if I fall to the dark side and become the thing in fandom I hate most: someone who focuses more energy on something they don’t like instead of what they love?

Okay so that last one’s never going to happen. I can at least take solace in the fact that the chances of me becoming one of those people are approximately 3720 to 1. I’ll probably at least somewhat like it. Probably. Hopefully. Is this what a preemptive crisis of faith feels like? I think this is what one feels like. I don’t like this feeling. Someone take it away. And take this fear I have of not loving The Force Awakens with it!

But I digress because, as our editors here are sure to soon tell me, that’s not the point of this series. We’re supposed to be talking about what our hopes are for The Force Awakens and not our somewhat irrational fears. The good news is that the movie is already delivering from the trailers alone. We’re getting kickass female leads, X-Wing battles, blazing lightsabers, and the return of Leia Organa. In fact, they’ve already gone one further and given me Jessika Pava who shall now be referred to as the Hapa Pilot Queen of My Heart. Add in a very impressive cast and crew and all the signs point towards this being another awesome peace of the Star Wars puzzle. So, at the end of the day, what’s my hope for Episode VII?

Please, sweet baby Yoda, just let me love this Star Wars movie as much as the rest.