Go/No-Go: Jupiter Ascending


Welcome back to Go/No-Go, Tosche Station’s regular feature where we offer our spoiler-free opinion as to whether or not you should spend your hard-earned money on a book, film, or other entertainment. Today on the launch pad: Jupiter Ascending. It’s a film that cost a lot of money to make but has been struggling in the box office.  How does our launch crew feel despite the critics’ thoughts?  To mission control for the verdict!

TELMU Bria: Is Jupiter Ascending a good movie?  No.  No it is not.  Is Jupiter Ascending a gift to human kind?  Yes.  Yes it is.  This is a film that I enjoyed every last minute watching because it was ridiculous and pretty and the space trash that we all never knew we needed in our life.  If nothing else, the visuals in the film are drop dead gorgeous and I’m considering seeing it again in 3D to get the whole effect.  The ships are beautifully made, it has one of the most gorgeous chase sequences I’ve seen in ages, and costumers will have a field day with Jupiter’s dresses.  This is also a film that takes the tired boy-with-special-destiny trope and flips it on its head and is the story of a secret space princess.  As for the cast, Eddie Redmayne is just… really there are no words for what he does in this film but it’s spectacular.  I actually really liked Mila Kunis in this film and thought she handled Jupiter pretty darn well.  This is also a world that’s populated with tons of different sorts of aliens and has a gloriously diverse cast and should be used as a model by all other science fiction films.  Despite all the positives, this still isn’t a good film by critic standards.  I prefer to think of it as being an unpretentious red instead of blood orange.  The dialogue sent me into hysterical laughter more than once especially paired with the over the top acting.  You know what though?  That’s okay because this movie was so gosh darn enjoyable and has so much potential for more if only more people will go see it.  So with that,  Jupiter Ascending gets a strong GO from me.

CAPCOM Shoshana: Jupiter Ascending is a ridiculous mess of a movie, filled with superfluous characters and loose plot threads, and I desperately need everyone to see it so that it can become a whole franchise. It’s as if the script was halfway through being revised when someone said “good enough, let’s put this on screen and make it really, really pretty.” By the time I got home from the theater, I was overflowing with questions, wondering why certain characters were left in, why so much time was spent on certain scenes that went nowhere, why certain ideas weren’t developed further. But even with (or maybe because of?) it’s baffling writing choices, the movie is just so gosh darned fun, in all of it’s jumbled, bloated glory. The actors seem like they’re having fun, the dialogue is hilarious, the ending leaves so much room for more stories, the sets and costumes are pretty. Plus, the protagonist’s name is Jupiter Jones. Is there a more perfect name for the protagonist of a ridiculous sci-fi franchise? The answer is no. This was exactly the fun, nonsensical space movie I didn’t realize I needed in my life until I saw it. I want so badly for there to be more giant, ridiculous stories set in this universe. I definitely give Jupiter Ascending a GO.

Flight Director’s Ruling: Jupiter Ascending is a GO for launch!